When it comes to humanity’s social evolution, those who would call themselves “progressives” are our leaders. They generously take opportunities to guide us out of our intellectual darkness through the haze of our social and political growth in the hopes of eventually achieving entrance into the bright open day of liberal utopianism that is the salvation of society we all seek without realizing it. One such occasion recently was a critique of the Creation Museum outside of Cincinnati, OH by the distinguished New Yorker magazine. That they would condescend to engage the lower classes under their tutelage with only our best interests at heart moves me.

Our guide is George Packer and his patient endurance of our inadequacy is demonstrated by his actually appearing at the museum to evaluate its quality in person with his cherished opinion on the subject. Thankfully, he shares that his inconvenience was minimized by the close proximity of his relatives to the museum. How nice.

He begins by inspecting the other guests. We can learn from this that it’s important for us to consider consumers and their class level, geographical origin, as well as race and likely level of education when attempting to confirm the legitimacy of a point of view advocated by such an establishment. For instance, noticing the number of caucasian guests of the blond variety would tell us the prevailing political view and that these unfortunate individuals are insecure and desperately seeking to affirm their faith. From this we conclude that we are being shown propaganda, unlike what we might see in…say…an educational Michael Moore film.

The orthodox view of creation week is dismissed immediately, we must take note, as a “primitive ideology.” Once we shed this archaic idea we are free to judge the ramifications of that view and place them securely in a box that we can set to the side of our minds and label as “illegitimate.” Such a worldview has no place in modern society as it would cause us to doubt some of contemporary science’s claims, which we are only allowed to question when they have changed their minds. Packer teaches us that we need only focus on human reason instead of sharing room in our brain for other possibilities. These brutish “Christianists” are sadly putting stock in references from such an insignificant literary achievement as the Bible. Who knows where they would get such a notion given the limited influence this book has had on the world. How shocking that they would dare present history from that point of view. Clearly, they have something sinister in mind with regard to our nation’s future.

I hesitate to mention something negative regarding this refreshing treat. As I read the article, I felt what seemed like a hint of fear-mongering based on prejudice, though that couldn’t be the case given it’s source. I must be mistaken. That would be contrary to the core of liberalism. I guess he’s just suggesting that if they wanted to educate the public more effectively they should have used government funds and established another museum supporting the officially sanctioned view of our origins. It goes without saying how effectively the government has educated our children. How horrifying that these privately funded organizations hold a different view and share their faith with their children!

Packer declares that there is no way we can coexist with them. I conclude from his lesson that they are ignorant savages. They will have to assimilate to the accepted views or else. Hopefully, their worldview can be broadened by television and movies as well as publications such as the New Yorker. Our gratitude is extended to Mr. Packer for the indulgence of his time and patience. I can only express my deep desire that somehow evangelicals can one day attain to the level of tolerance he has shown and then we can be as enlightened as he is.